Today I had an epiphany.  Sarah, you will get 13 pages of it in a few days :)

And yes, I'm OK.  Well, I will be :)

Where to begin.  I quit Nordstrom after 2 weeks because I was offered a position as store manager at a UPS Store.  I love that job.  LOVE it.  I did continue to work 14.5 hours a day up until yesterday.  I've been very sick for about a week and I finally missed work at UPS (I'm supposed to be there at 4am - didn't wake up until 7:30). 

SO I went to the Dr. . . . She doesn't want me working until the 8th (Friday).  I am suffering from exhaustion, stress induced depression, and a cold so severe (and in my chest) that she said if I continue to work at the rate I am that I will get pneumonia.  She says that it's normal to feel upset about missing home and not getting into grad school, but that I am 22 and if I don't need the money, there is no reason for me to work this hard.  She doesnt' want me going to school in the fall.  She prescribed me less work hours, antibiotics, to start exersizing as soon as I am healthy and have quit one job and to "have fun".  Because apparently it's normal to have fun at 22 :)

Long story short: I"m quitting UPS, going to make a decent post graduate salary at the UPS Store.  And I'm just going to live. 

Other than that, I can not WAIT for Eli to get here!

xo

Miss you Kelly and Sarah!

So maybe things aren't going exactly according to plan.  I'm trying to slow down.  One obstical at a time, one goal at a time.  I did not get accepted into grad school.  At first I was devistated.  I've never not been in school before.  Then I realized, if I apply for fall 2007 I can apply to multiple schools, retake my GRE, and pay instate tuition.

I started a job at Nordstrom last week.  The pay is going to be great, the people are super nice and I think the job will be cake.  The only hitch is:  I still work at UPS.  6:30 am - 12:00 pm at UPS and 1:00 pm - 9:00 pm at Nordstrom.  If I can do this for 3 months I think I can pay my credit cards off in full......  But I'm not sure I can handle this for 3 months.  Monday is my first day of 15 hour days, so we shall see!

Eli was just here for a week.  Time flew by at an unreasonable pace.  I miss him dearly.....

The end.

I set out on a journey;
Unknowing of this anticlimactic end.
I dig my toes into the sand
& let the sun kiss my skin.
A kiss so strong it burns.
No road ahead, no place to turn.
I thought seeing the world would reveal a new me.
Make some changes, create harmony.
Within myself.
For the world.
But I am strained.
& alone.
& nothing more than the same.
My journey lead me no where
And the world I have not changed.

Copyright ©2006 Catherine Elizabeth Bleish

I was feeling defeated. . . what can I say?  I no longer feel this way, but I thought it was the best way to articulate what I was going through.  Financial struggles, leavning loved ones, family struggles, friendship struggles, career struggles, education struggles.  I was lost and confused and frusterated and ready to give up.  But I didn't.  And I know I'm going to be OK.

I've decided I would like to persue a career as a teacher.  This is the first time I have ever had to go to work and didn't adore what I was doing.  It's very new for me to hate my job and it really made me look deep into what it is that I really want.  If I can be a college professor I will be paid to do the research I really want to do.  I can learn as a career.  I can educate young minds, help change and grow our world.  I will have the summers off to volunteer (I can do 2 or 3 sessions with the red cross [3 weeks long each]) and even use that in my research.  I want to major in Global and International Studies.  I need this.  I hate not being in school.  I feel so uninspired and so understimulated.  This is what I want and now I just need to push for it.  And keep on pushing untill I have my PHD, I'm a teacher, I"m a writer and I'm helping the world in some significant way.  Please cross your fingers for me.  I find out in March if I'm going to be accepted.

xo

What can I say?  I love California;  The sun is shining at a perfect 80 degrees, the ocean is always availible to the dogs and I, I have a nice house with nice roommates, and after a breif period of misery at work - I'm actually enjoying my job. 

I absolutely cannot wait for Eli to come back.  The weekend he was here was over in practically a minute.  Everything just seems so right when he is near.  March, you could not seem further away. . .

And you know he is missing the beach :)

Note the dog bars in the back :p  isn't he a hottie? 

To be honest, I can't imagine living anywhere but near the beach.  The boys are so happy (so am I). 

Could you take them away from this place? 

Long story short, I'm in a very content place.  Although, I do need to hear from a few people that seem to have been sucked into some huge abyss *ahem* Kelly McFarland :)  I want to talk to you, woman!  Email a girl or something.  Catherine.Bleish@Gmail.com

xox

wow.  the days are passing so quickly I can barely keep track of time.  I have no new photos to update with.  To be honest - I've been doing more cleaning and shopping and unpacking  and roommate searching than anything outdoorsy. 

Two weekends ago Matt (roommate) and I went into the mountians to hike with Harley and Deegan (Matt and Circe's dog).  And we've made one trip to the dog beach since the last one.  The beach is so rocky from all of the storms that I don't think it's really safe for them to play anyway. 

This weekend we drove to LA to shop at IKEA and to attempt to spend my Target gift card.  I got an awesome white comforter cover and red/maroon sheets among various other crap that I probably didn't need to spend money on. 

Tommorow I have a 54 inch TV being delivered.  oh yes.

I need to practice being a bit more stingy with the wallet.  I think I'll start now :)

I start a yoga class today, which I am very excited about and I went on my first city street bike ride today.  The hills are increadibly steep, but I was love love loving the burn. 

Overall things are very well.  I'm sad that my roommies are moving back to Colorado so soon.  I really really really like hanging out with Circe.  But, having them leave will force me to go out and do that whole socialize thing.  So that will be good.

Eli will be here in 10 days.  I am so excited that I can hardly sleep at night.   Last night I think I was just laying in bed with my mind racing until 4am or so.   

I got a call for an interview at DAWG (Dog Adoption and Welfare Group) for the position of Shelter Director last night.  I'm worried because I didn't get the messege until last night and apparently she left if like 4 - 5 days ago. . . .  I hope they still give the opprutunity to try. 

I have this internal struggle with what to do with myself right now.  I really feel like I am ready to work full time.  But I still want the flexibility and opprutunities (hello, grad school) that a part time job offers.  I just don't feel as if I'm doing anything meaningful right now.  I'm just doing paperwork 5.5 hours a day in order to barely pay my bills.  I don't want to live month to month. 

10 days. <3333

POST SCRIPT:

Sarah and Kelly I need both of your street addresses.  YOu have two things waiting to be mailed each.

I know the previous photos aren't working for many of you.  I will try and fix time tonight or tomorow.  sorry :/

<3333333

I start my job on Tuesday, woohoo.

I also found the perfect full time job working as the director of an animal shelter.  Read the Job Description and tell me that isn't made for me?  I wasn't planing on taking a full time job when I got out here, but if I can get the job, I think it would be an opprutunity that I could not miss.  Wish me luck :) :) :)

Today the beach was covered in sea foam created by the storm waves.  A lot of the sand was washed away, too, so there were really beautiful rocks protruding from the beach.  Breathtaking sight.

Edward loves the ocean a bit too much.  He's having trouble getting in the car and just sleeps all day.  He exhausts himself with all of the excitement and exerise.  No complaints here. . . although I feel kind abad for him. 

This weekend I plan to take more shots at the doggie beach and park, get a photo tour of my new house, clean the bathrooms (lol), buy a dresser and maybe a TV, and get postcards/packages sent out.

Happy New Year!
xo

Today the dogs had their first experience on the beach. 

Edward LOVED the ocean.  He would run full force into the waves, get tossed around (he'd be completely submerged) and jump back in to do it again.

Harley made friends with all of the dogs out to play.  This is Lucky the Boxer.

They had so much fun.

This is Circe, my new roommate, taking pictures of the dogs.  Her dog is a black lab named Degan.

They played tug-of-war and chased balls and ran around like crazy. 

I love this picture.  From the front: Edward, Degan, Harley, Circe.

Overall today was a good day.  We went to the dog beach in the morning then Cerce drove me around town and we ate lunch at this delicious healthfood store.  I drove Circe and Matt to the air port then broused thrift stores in Goleta and spent $200 at Trader Joes and Ralphs.  I came home and stocked the kitchen and hung up picture frames and made a huge collage of photos on one wall.  I am officially unpacked - woohoo!

Tommorow I need to finish typing my grad school application, deliver it to the school, shop for a dresser and maybe go spend my Victoria's Secret and Express gift certificates!  Hopefully I will start work on Tuesday, so tommorow may be my last weekday of freedom!  I still don't have plans for New Years, but I'm sure I'll find something. 

I plan to post a picture tour of the house tomorow :)

Things are changing so quickly it's hard to beleive its really happening.

Became a college graduate.

Bought a new car.

Said goodby to my two best friends.




Survived my last night at work.

Lots of family time.

Fell in love all over again.

and again.

and again.

And today I left for CA.  I'm currently in a hotel in Dalhart, TX with my two beautiful pooches, completely unable to sleep.  I miss home already.

Oh the woes of a graduating senior. 

After pulling an all nighter to study for my 8am and 10:30 finals I arrive in class to find no one there.  I confirm the time/location in my day planer and by 7:45 began to have a mild heart attack.  I hop onto the school website to check finals times and low and behold I was there at the right time . . . a day too late. 

It all ends well, I'm taking the final in an hour :)

So let me list the great news of the week:

One. I graduate tommorow!
Two. I'm buying my new car on Tuesday!
Three. I got my new phone today.
Four. Jake had his baby!

 
(I think this is my favorite photo EVER).

Five. I'm visiting Rolla on Wednesday.
Six. I move in 9 days!  wow!